Okay, this probably won't be a long post, but for my own sanity it is a quick outlet.
I have been sick for the last few days with a common cold. I really haven't complained much, but have laid low and didn't do anything but relax this weekend.
However, late this afternoon, I was laying on my bed, watching my new obsession, Sons of Anarchy, when all the sudden I felt a severe shooting pain in my head. Right near my incision, I suddenly felt something that I can best describe as a pinched nerve constantly pinching and pinching hard. It took my breath away. My anxiety sky-rocketed. I was convinced this was it.
Okay, I am getting dramatic, but I have to admit I really did start to panic. I calmed myself down, paused my show, got up and ran to get an ice pack. I ran into my mom and dad in the kitchen and let them know that if something should happen to me tonight, to tell the doctors that I did complain of pain near the incision. This isn't something they haven't heard before. Every time something feels out of wack in my head, I tell them, you know...just in case!
Again, dramatic. I know. But, in my defense, IT IS MY BRAIN. I know that it has been nearly nine months since my surgery. I know Dr. Vez has cleared me. I know I have felt great. I know I have very few limitations anymore. I know. But, when something like this sudden and severe pain happens, I freak.
It scares me that just about nine months ago, my head was open and doctors were poking around. It scares me that just about nine months and a day ago, I had horrible symptoms that debilitated my daily living. It scares me that most days my life is completely normal and pain-free. It scares me that today, something felt different.
I can't say it enough, I know I am overreacting. My mom and dad have told me five times already tonight. I just want to be sure that if something did happen to go wrong, they know, and now the blog world knows, that my head had an uncommon, fierce pain at the base of my skull to the left of my incision.
The pain has subsided with ice and some Advil. I am still having trouble steadying my breath, but I think that is more so my anxiety and mind getting me worked up. Hopefully, it was just a pinched nerve or some kind of muscle pain. Fingers crossed!
Enough with the theatrics.
As for everything else in my life...I'm pretty content. Thinking to where I was this time last year as the holidays quickly approach ... I am no where near the dark place I was. I am so far on the bright side now. I am healthy (minus today's episode), my sister is home and safe, my mom is cancer free, my whole family will be together for the holidays this year, I am living comfortably in the new house and really liking it!
Things are going to change in the next few weeks. One of my best friends who happens to be my co-teacher is going out on maternity leave. Happy to have a new baby in my life, sad she's leaving me! I will have many more days off of work due to Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks. I know for normal people this would be a great change, but I LOVE my job. I LOVE being busy and I LOVE having a schedule. So almost two full weeks off with no real plans, bores me. Also, this should be on the positive side, but I finally feel that I am in a place that I want to move out. Making it a negative, is my anxiety in trying to figure out what makes sense for me. Last, I am going to finish my SOA episodes on Netflix and have to watch in real time. I HATE waiting a whole week in between episodes!
So this wasn't my happiest of posts, but keeping my faith that this was a minor glitch in my otherwise perfect recovery. Let me reiterate, I mean MINOR. Now that I am done typing this, I am realizing, you all reading it are probably thinking... what a wimp!
Oh well, this was the purpose of the blog all along. I wanted to use it as an outlet to write my journey through having Chiari and the recovery after my decompression surgery. Being that Chiari is never "cured", this is all part of my journey with Chiari and even though its been almost nine months, there are certain days I would still call this my recovery. Here's hoping the next month of my journey and recovery are equally pain-free and simple as the last few have been, well you know...not including today.
....not to be melodramatic, but maybe throw in some extra prayers for me tonight, just to be sure! ;)
