Sharing Happiness

My birthday is tomorrow.  For those of you that don't know me, this is my favorite day of the whole year.  

Fittingly, it just so happens, this weekend has been one of my favorites of THIS whole year. 

Short version of all the amazing things from this week: It is almost my 26th birthday, woah! My cousin passed her PRAXIS exam to allow her to become a licensed speech pathologist upon graduation.  Her sister got engaged to the man of her dreams and a guy that I absolutely LOVE to be around.  A cousin of mine who has been trying to have a baby for years and has had many miscarriages, is far enough along now to share the exciting news with the world!  My sister was invited to a wedding that the rest of my family is going to because the bride and groom are believing and seeing her success in recovery right now.  My best friend got married this weekend and it was one of the most fun nights of my life.  

As a quick side note, my parents were also at this wedding.  We have decided we know why I don't have a boyfriend.  I spent over an hour dancing with a four-year-old and two six-year-olds.  The six-year-olds were over my dance moves quickly, but I spent the next hour choreographing dances with the four-year-old.  Just to make it more extraordinary, this four-year-old was diagnosed with cancer and has been going through treatments.  It was so special to spend the night smiling, belly-laughing, and dancing with this little ray of sunshine.  She truly made my night more memorable than I could ever imagine and a night that I will never forget. 

Also today, my sister asked me to attend a meeting with her.  She told me it was a speaker meeting and that I would just have to sit and listen.  She explained that it would mean a lot to her for me to see what it is like for her each day.  Hesitantly, I went.  I couldn't be happier that I did! It was an eye-opening experience.  

As family of an addict, there are many people that can relate to what we have been through.  I know there are support groups for families of addicts, but in the past I haven't found them helpful.  

Today, however, being in a room full of addicts, I was able to open my eyes, put aside my resentment, and see, feel and listen to the raw emotions of those who suffer from the disease.  I felt as though, for the first time, I could begin to truly, deeply, understand how hard it is for someone who uses to find the strength to get themselves better. I will never be able to relate, but I can be empathetic.  There was a lot of laughter, compassion, and faith in the room. There was support, strength and a sense of comfort.  With another invite, I would go back in a heartbeat. 

My sister made a comment today that she wishes there was a "Normal People Anonomyous" meeting.  She said that as addicts, they all have a place to discuss common struggles, to work the steps, find their weaknesses and to rise above and become a better version of themselves.  She related that life happens to everyone, and for a person that isn't an addict to work the steps, would do the same thing.  It would give us, normal people, a chance to look into their deepest, darkest places and find happiness within.  She made a point.  If we all realized we were powerless over _____ (whatever the issue may be) and put our faith in a higher power, whatever He may be, wouldn't we all be much happier, successful and accepting?  I don't know.  Like I said, this weekend was one of the best of the year, and I think this meeting really was the topping (or is it icing) on the cake.  

I know I typed a lot of random things from my past week, most of which had nothing to do with me.   I know as a reader of "Amy Has a Headache", you are probably thinking "Great, but what does this have to do with Chiari?"  My answer ... everything.  Everything that has happened in the last four days, never would have been enjoyed or savored in the manner it would have pre-surgery.  This would have been a long, dreaded weekend with lots of headaches, fears of falling (especially in long dresses and heels!), and blurred memories.  I am so grateful for my surgery and for the ability to have been able to enjoy every last minute of this past weekend!  

Even though I have no plans, I feel this birthday is going to be one of the most blessed ones I have had in years.  My family is all together...happily.  I spent a very special night celebrating love with my best friends.  I couldn't ask for anything more. 

Thanks to all my peeps that contributed to such a lively weekend! 

Life is good :) 

Happy 7 months + some days!

I have been a slacker.  In terms of blogging, not life.  

Life is...Busy. Crazy. Upsetting. Overwhelming. Pain-Free. Funny. Good. 

Busy. I have been to seven of nine weddings between April-November.  I have been to nine bridal showers, two bachelorette parties (one in NASHVILLE!), to North Carolina, two rehearsal dinners, one baby shower, an engagement party, and as I said, seven weddings.  Wedding number eight is in two weeks and I am a bridesmaid.  This week I have a hair appointment, dress fitting, and need to fit in my nails at some point. 

Crazy. I feel like busy and crazy go hand in hand. I am beginning to feel crazy busy.  I started my new job.  I like it, but as with anything new it is taking a lot of learning and patience to become accustomed to a new district, new curriculum, new co-workers, new principals, etc.  I am loving the little ones and really that is what is most important!  I am tutoring two days a week.  I have so many new shows to watch as the networks have started their premieres.  Penguins hockey started this past week, the Pirates are in the playoffs and as always football on Sundays.  The fall is always crazy with all the festivals around our town.  It is also my birthday month.  I feel I am going crazy.  But, as I am typing, I am realizing it is all good crazy.  

Upsetting.  The next word on my list.  For as many great things that have happened in the last few months. there have been a couple things that have left me upset and disappointed.  Like I said, my sister is back home.  Things have been going well for the most part, however there have been a few instances when she has left me disappointed.  I know I will never fully understand the disease of addiction, but I would never wish it upon anyone or anyone's family.  Beyond my sister, I have just had a few let downs in the past few weeks and it has just left me a little more bummed out than I like to be.  And, to top it off, the Phillies stunk this season, the Steelers are 0-4, and Hunter Pence is still in San Fran. 

Overwhelming.  If you have read my blog before, you know I get overwhelmed  and unfortunately, overwhelmed easily.  I think of myself as very laid back, however when I feel like there is too much out of my control, naturally I feel overwhelmed.  As I said before, I started my new job.  It is overwhelming starting fresh.  The weddings have left me overwhelmed, feeling that I haven't had a single weekend to just hang around and really relax.  My sister is home and has been for a few months.  Although I love her being home, especially on her good days, it is overwhelming day to day.  I turn twenty-six this month, and I am overwhelmed by the idea of where I am in my life.  I am at a point, I feel ready to be settled.  Now having the surgery past me, I feel that it is time to figure out what I want, where I want to be, and how to do it all.  It's stressful, but I know it I am more physically and mentally ready to move forward than I have ever been before.  

Pain-Free.  Okay, on to more positive things.  I am pain-free! I have had very few headaches.  I have no tingling, no weakness, and I am falling a lot less! (still a little klumzy) It is funny, when I have headaches now I worry about saying it out loud.  I feel bad complaining about an everyday stress headache.  It is nothing like a Chiari headache, it is so minimal but it has been the only "pain" I have had recently.  Any time I move my head, or sneeze, or jump, I still find myself panicking that I feel a "slight headache" coming on.  I put "slight headache" in quotes because I feel like I say that a lot, even still.  There are days I feel how I used to feel when a Chiari headache was coming on, and I used to phrase those days as "slight headache" days.  But now, they don't become Chiari headaches.  They simply go away as I continue with my daily routines.  I truly, honestly, can not complain.  The surgery was still the best decision I have made to date.  I feel like this paragraph was one big rambling thought, but the point is that I feel great.  I feel healthy, and I feel free.  No more restrictions due to debilitating headaches and pain.  It is nice to feel like a normal twenty-five year old.  Hey Chiari, suck it!

Funny.  Life is funny.  I can't even begin to tell you how much I have laughed over the last few months.  My family, make me laugh.  My friends, make me laugh. My students, make me laugh.  My co-workers, make me laugh.  My TV shows, make me laugh.  I really have found humor in so many things lately and I just can't thank those around me for continuing to make me one of the happiest people I know.  Although I have had a rough day here and there, I continue to value the small things in life that create so many smiles.  Through everything I have been through the past two years...my mom's cancer, my grandmother's passing, my sister's addictions, my career continuously being unknown, and of course, my surgery, I am proud to say I have kept my smile and laughter.  

Life is good.  I have wonderful parents, hysterical siblings, crazy cousins, silly aunts and uncles, and amazing friends.  I have faith in God.  I have a career I love and look forward to going to work each day.  I live in a beautiful house filled with love, food and lots of TVs.  I have a shore house to escape to when I want to.  And as of this past week, I have a nice deck and I can sit on, sip my coffee, listen to music and blog...again, it is all about the little things in life.

Life gets a little busy, crazy, upsetting, and overwhelming, but that is life. Learning to accept those things and still find the funny and good in it all, that is what makes you live.  :)