I want to start by saying...I LOVE my doctor. He talks to me like I am the farthest thing from a doctor, which I am. He listens and encourages questions. He is awesome.
First of all, my appointment was at 10am in Philly. I was back in the car by 10:24. I didn't feel rushed at all and felt like I got everything that I wanted out of the appointment.
Dr. Vez first looked at my incision. He said it looked good, but he told us that I need to scrub it to get all of the glue off of the scar. The glue varies in color from grey, to red, to brown. It is gross. He started to pick at it and I know I was flinching. I HATE when my scar is touched. I describe the feeling as numb, except I do feel a pain each time their is pressure against it. That being said, the idea that my mom needs to continue to scrub the glue off, freaks me out. I've mentioned in previous posts that I cringe everytime she cleans it, now she isn't just cleaning, she's cleaning with a mission. As if I didn't hate showering already, now I am required to scrub while showering. That is a double whammy in my book. My stomach is literally turning while I sit here thinking about it. The alternative to not scrubbing the scar clean, is an infection. This was Dr. Vez's main concern during my appointment. Everything else, he was very non-chalant about (in a good way).
After he stopped picking at my scar he answered Mom and Dad's main question...What exactly happened during the surgery? He told us in simple words that he cut through the neck muscles, shaved a piece of my skull and removed my C1, cut through the dura, cauterized my cerebral tonsils, patched up the hole up with bovine (cow) heart, and stitched me back up. Ew. I have a cow heart in my skull now. He said many surgeons use a synthetic patch instead, but he found that they leak which obviously causes many complications. I am thinking that this will be my fun fact that I use any time I need an ice breaker. Hi, I am Amy Burns and I have a cow heart that covers a hole in my skull caused by brain surgery. Who wouldn't want to be my friend?
Then, I got to ask my questions. HOW MUCH LONGER WILL THESE HEADACHES AND NERVE PAIN CONTINUE? His answer ... "Eh, it varies." However, he did persuade me to believe that it is expected and that it will relieve itself as I get further into the recovery. He explained that I should ease into my normal routine, but reminded me that if I don't take it slow, I will slow down the overall process. To sum it up, he told me the recovery is now on my terms.
Since about two weeks after the surgery, I had two little "fishing lines" hanging from the bottom of my incision. Everyone had a speculation about what they may be. Stitches from the muscles, that would eventually be pulled. The end of the stitches, which became loose. Annoying, unneeded strings that got caught in pillow cases, blankets, ice packs, jackets, shirts, etc. Guess which speculation was mine!? When I mentioned these to the doctor he told me they will fall off eventually, that they are related to the glue. I guess I looked at him with my best "feel sorry for me" face and asked if it was possible to snip them. He answered with "Of course!" and got up to do so.
Just a funny side note - Dr. Vez is considering opening an office in Philadelphia, so my appointment was in a room he is renting from an orthopedic office. Needless to say, he is not very familiar with these rooms and had trouble finding something to clip the strings with. It was funny to see a doctor going through cabinets to find things...
Anyway, my irritating "fishing line" strings are gone! My cerebral tonsils are shrunk! My doctor thinks I am on my way to a successful recovery!
Other good things about the past few days:
1) I went to visit my kiddos at school yesterday. It was so exciting to see them! They seemed so happy to see me too, consistantly asking me if I was back, when I would be back, and how many more days until I am back. It made me feel so special. I should probably bite my tongue, but I really can't wait to get back. :)
2) I went to my 1 year-old cousin's birthday party today after the doctors. I got my fix of little kids and enjoyed spending time with family.
3) The Phillies are back in town!!!
4) The Penguins have won 14 games in a row and have signed two captains from other teams this week. Big things!
5) I continue to receive cards on a daily basis. I have seriously only had ONE day when I did not get at least one card. I LOVE mail!!!
Overall, it was a pretty good week.
All that good stuff being said, I have had some serious pressure headaches behind my eyes the past three days. Enough so that I was up much of the night last night. Dr. Vez says it is because I am up and doing much more than I have since the brain has had all this room. I hope it gets used to it soon because I really have been in (a new kind of) pain the past few days. My nerve pain has also changed location. It was on the top left side of my head, and now it has begun to shift towards the incison and lower, towards my neck. Now I am going to just have to get used to new comfortable laying, sitting, and car ride positions. I also have had a slight tingling sensation on the left side of my face today. Hopefully that is not here to stay.
We move in 6 days and I am getting very anxious. We cleaned my room on Thursday and went through a lot of things. There are many memories in this house. It is all I know. With things being so tough with my sister over the last three years, I know it is time for a new start. However, I wish she was here, ready to make a new start with us. I miss her. A lot. Every day that goes by I feel more of a distance between us, and now with this move, I do feel like I'm getting even further from her. Please keep her in your prayers also.
I am still surprised daily by friends who reach out to me or surprise visit me. I know I say it a lot (probably too much) but I can't thank those of you who have been here for me throughout this experience enough. There are no words. I know I still have a good amount of time left for recovery, but I can't imagine getting through what I hope was the hardest part, without all your kind words, cards, presents, visits, and most importantly, prayers.
This week has had its list of ups and downs...actually as I am thinking more about it, this year has had its list of ups and downs. I read something Mommom told my mom this week. Let go, Let God. Between my mom's breast cancer, my sister's drug addiction, my grandmother's death, my friend and cousins unexpected deaths, the unknown with my job year to year, the move, and most recently my brain surgery and recovery, I have become a prayer addict. Without my faith and strength, my positivity could have been lost in the whirlwind of a year that my family and I have survived. I believe it is because of Him that I am here today, still with a smile on my face and still with hope that everything will fall into place eventually. :)
"In the center of a hurricane there is absolute peace and quiet. There is no safer place than in the center of the will of God" - Corrie ten Boom
Friday, March 29, 2013
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
"Turned a Corner"
I chose this title for the blog because I have heard my mom say it about 344,593,432 times in the last three days. She thinks I have turned a corner in the recovery which is a great thing! In a sense, I agree with her. Sorry it took me so many days to get back on here, I just felt like I didn't have much to tell. I have had a lot of complainers telling me (or mom or dad) that I am slacking...I apologize! Here you go, the details on my last few days...
Sunday I had tons of visitors from out of town, old neighbors, and cousins. It kept me busy all day and afterward, wore me out. I was in bed very early, but that could be in part due to the fact that I take Tylenol PM now at night instead of my pain medicine.
Monday was the grossest day. Many of you don't know me, but I have self diagnosed myself with a horrible condition...Seasonal Depression. It doesn't matter if it is spring, winter, fall or summer, I HATE gray skies, rain or any kind of percipitation. So, needless to say Monday, I was miserable. I keep joking that my mom and I didn't talk that day. I sat in my "recovery oasis" as I like to call it, and she continued to pack the house. It was NOT my favorite day. Also, I had a lot of pain around my incision. It is still there. It is around the bottom of it and it is a numbing, yet incredibly painful sensation at all times. Everyone that has seen it says that it is a little swollen around this spot and very red. However, we did have a friend that is a nurse come over this past weekend and she said it looked great, so we aren't worrying. Monday did have an upside...The Voice started again! That makes dad and I VERY happy.
Speaking of The Voice, how do these singers choose which coach they want. I wouldn't even begin to know how to choose. Blake Shelton, my favorite country man. He would be my ticket to meet every country singer I ever wanted and maybe help find me a cowboy boyfriend. Usher, he would teach me to dance and maybe introduce me to Biebs? Shakira, I mean come on guys, her Hips Don't Lie AND she's funny. Adam, HOTT...with two T's. Nothing else needs to be said about him. I have expressed this concern to my family the past two nights. Seriously, WHO WOULD I CHOOSE!? My family came to the conclusion...Thank goodness I will never have this dilemma! (Unless this brain surgery somehow improved my vocal cords and rhythm?...wishful thinking!)
Tuesday was also not a great day. I NEEDED to get out of the house. Now that I am feeling mobile and I am functioning more, I am starting to go stir crazy. I talked my mom into going grocery shopping, despite the horrible headache I had over my right eye. I had woken up from the pain in the night and took more Tylenol. When I woke up, the pain was still there. I managed to get through the grocery store, but was ready to get home. I took more Tylenol and my pain medication. I had very little relief and really didn't do much more during the day. My 4-year-old and 2-year-old cousin came over, along with my aunt and grandparents, which made for a nice afternoon. I also had a friend come over to watch The Voice and a movie with me. I can't say enough how much having visitors helps my mood. Even when I am feeling down and not well, visitors have a way of distracting me and making me feel better.
Today was a good day. I got up and took a 20 minute walk with my mom. I couldn't remember if I had taken my pain medicine when I woke up so I decided I would wait it out and see if I felt any different. Mornings are my hardest time. I always feel pain in my neck and shoulders when I first wake up. I have been trying to eliminate the pain medicine. I have got myself down to only taking two a day and Tylenol PM at night. Hopefully by the end of the week, I will only need it in the morning, and by the end of next week, not at all. Long story short, (haha I know none of my "stories" are short) but I didn't take the medicine and did need it mid-morning. I was able to go out to lunch with my mom and her friends and we went for an hour long trip to Kohl's. At the end of my Kohl's trip, I had a very sharp pain traveling right above my incision in the middle of my head. It was very painful and I couldn't wait to get home to get ice on it. I laid around for the rest of the afternoon, but I am still feeling pretty good.
I agree with my mom, I do think I have turned a corner. I go to the doctor on Friday morning and am very anxious to do so. I have so many questions for him. What the heck is this graft that is hiding the hole you cut into my skull? Why do I have this nerve pain that won't go away? Are these sharp shooting pains normal? When can I drive? What should I expect for the last few weeks of my recovery? Do you have any cute nurses or doctors that work here?
I am thinking the worst of my days are over, however I hope that I don't have to live with this new nerve pain forever. I am going to be optimistic and think its just part of the long recovery.
Everyone that I've talked to in the last few weeks already knows my newest fears. When am I going to go back to school? How will I feel when I go back? How will I know I am ready to go back? Teaching isn't like a desk job. I can't go back for a half day. I can't just leave if I am not feeling well. I can't just sit at my desk to rest. Teaching means I am focused, functioning, and "on" all day. I'm afraid I am going to think I am ready, excitedly head back, and not be the best I can be. I also don't want it to seem like I am "milking" my recovery. I know by walking, getting out and doing some things, and sitting up as much as possible will be the only way I know I will have enough endurance for a full eight hour work day. I just need to stay focused on getting better and working on me, I know this. But, just like a lot of other things in life, it is easier said than done, especially without being anxious.
As I said earlier, I will be going to the doctor on Friday morning. I will hopefully have a great update on Friday afternoon! Now it is time to go watch (finally new episodes!!) of The Middle and Modern Family! Prayers for a great doctor's appointment Friday!
Sunday I had tons of visitors from out of town, old neighbors, and cousins. It kept me busy all day and afterward, wore me out. I was in bed very early, but that could be in part due to the fact that I take Tylenol PM now at night instead of my pain medicine.
Monday was the grossest day. Many of you don't know me, but I have self diagnosed myself with a horrible condition...Seasonal Depression. It doesn't matter if it is spring, winter, fall or summer, I HATE gray skies, rain or any kind of percipitation. So, needless to say Monday, I was miserable. I keep joking that my mom and I didn't talk that day. I sat in my "recovery oasis" as I like to call it, and she continued to pack the house. It was NOT my favorite day. Also, I had a lot of pain around my incision. It is still there. It is around the bottom of it and it is a numbing, yet incredibly painful sensation at all times. Everyone that has seen it says that it is a little swollen around this spot and very red. However, we did have a friend that is a nurse come over this past weekend and she said it looked great, so we aren't worrying. Monday did have an upside...The Voice started again! That makes dad and I VERY happy.
Speaking of The Voice, how do these singers choose which coach they want. I wouldn't even begin to know how to choose. Blake Shelton, my favorite country man. He would be my ticket to meet every country singer I ever wanted and maybe help find me a cowboy boyfriend. Usher, he would teach me to dance and maybe introduce me to Biebs? Shakira, I mean come on guys, her Hips Don't Lie AND she's funny. Adam, HOTT...with two T's. Nothing else needs to be said about him. I have expressed this concern to my family the past two nights. Seriously, WHO WOULD I CHOOSE!? My family came to the conclusion...Thank goodness I will never have this dilemma! (Unless this brain surgery somehow improved my vocal cords and rhythm?...wishful thinking!)
Tuesday was also not a great day. I NEEDED to get out of the house. Now that I am feeling mobile and I am functioning more, I am starting to go stir crazy. I talked my mom into going grocery shopping, despite the horrible headache I had over my right eye. I had woken up from the pain in the night and took more Tylenol. When I woke up, the pain was still there. I managed to get through the grocery store, but was ready to get home. I took more Tylenol and my pain medication. I had very little relief and really didn't do much more during the day. My 4-year-old and 2-year-old cousin came over, along with my aunt and grandparents, which made for a nice afternoon. I also had a friend come over to watch The Voice and a movie with me. I can't say enough how much having visitors helps my mood. Even when I am feeling down and not well, visitors have a way of distracting me and making me feel better.
Today was a good day. I got up and took a 20 minute walk with my mom. I couldn't remember if I had taken my pain medicine when I woke up so I decided I would wait it out and see if I felt any different. Mornings are my hardest time. I always feel pain in my neck and shoulders when I first wake up. I have been trying to eliminate the pain medicine. I have got myself down to only taking two a day and Tylenol PM at night. Hopefully by the end of the week, I will only need it in the morning, and by the end of next week, not at all. Long story short, (haha I know none of my "stories" are short) but I didn't take the medicine and did need it mid-morning. I was able to go out to lunch with my mom and her friends and we went for an hour long trip to Kohl's. At the end of my Kohl's trip, I had a very sharp pain traveling right above my incision in the middle of my head. It was very painful and I couldn't wait to get home to get ice on it. I laid around for the rest of the afternoon, but I am still feeling pretty good.
I agree with my mom, I do think I have turned a corner. I go to the doctor on Friday morning and am very anxious to do so. I have so many questions for him. What the heck is this graft that is hiding the hole you cut into my skull? Why do I have this nerve pain that won't go away? Are these sharp shooting pains normal? When can I drive? What should I expect for the last few weeks of my recovery? Do you have any cute nurses or doctors that work here?
I am thinking the worst of my days are over, however I hope that I don't have to live with this new nerve pain forever. I am going to be optimistic and think its just part of the long recovery.
Everyone that I've talked to in the last few weeks already knows my newest fears. When am I going to go back to school? How will I feel when I go back? How will I know I am ready to go back? Teaching isn't like a desk job. I can't go back for a half day. I can't just leave if I am not feeling well. I can't just sit at my desk to rest. Teaching means I am focused, functioning, and "on" all day. I'm afraid I am going to think I am ready, excitedly head back, and not be the best I can be. I also don't want it to seem like I am "milking" my recovery. I know by walking, getting out and doing some things, and sitting up as much as possible will be the only way I know I will have enough endurance for a full eight hour work day. I just need to stay focused on getting better and working on me, I know this. But, just like a lot of other things in life, it is easier said than done, especially without being anxious.
As I said earlier, I will be going to the doctor on Friday morning. I will hopefully have a great update on Friday afternoon! Now it is time to go watch (finally new episodes!!) of The Middle and Modern Family! Prayers for a great doctor's appointment Friday!
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Bored
I decided to blog today out of pure boredom. It's funny, I think it's actually a good thing I am feeling bored. It means that I feel well enough to do more than just lay on the couch. However, I still can't drive. I still can't be out for long periods of time. I still can't shower myself (yes, that bored).
I was wide awake at 7:30 this morning. I watched a little TV, played with my phone and got up out of bed by 8. I walked down the stairs all by myself and made myself a cup of tea! I really needed to take my medicine and had to eat something with it. I chose a cookie, which in itself is bizarre because as I have said before, I don't even like sweets. It was exactly what I wanted this morning though. So after I ate my cookie, made my tea, and watched an episode of Castle, it was still only 9. AHHHH! I am not seriously complaining, it is just the first time I can say I am honestly bored and not sure what to do with myself.
Mid-morning I had my mom drive me to Dunkin Donuts and we also stopped at Shop Rite to pick up a few things. Unfortunately, these things took a total of 40 minutes. I came home and watched three episodes of Long Island Medium.
Now, I have agreed to go to Sears later to look at a new fridge, washer and dryer for the new house. Kind of the same idea as the Lowe's trip the other day, I am desperate!
Not that you wanted every detail of my uneventful morning, but it just goes to show that I feel good today. Yesterday, I was not myself totally. I did venture out and take two walks, but I didn't feel good. There was a lot of pressure around my eyes and my incision felt very tight. I am still incredibly sensitive around the top, left side of my head. I am starting to think that it is becoming like my Chiari headaches in that I have learned to live with it. Today, I went to put my sunglasses on top of my head and QUICKLY was reminded I can't do that yet.
Like I said, today I feel good. I'm sore, but nothing that my beloved ice pack and pain medicine isn't relieving. I was trying to think earlier about what I would be doing if I wasn't contained...I decided I'd be doing exactly what I did this morning but without the boredom. I would have worked an entire week and would have wanted my Saturday morning to relax. So, I think I should appreciate the continued down time and try to enjoy it.
Maybe I will just continue to watch Homeland today. I am trying to slow down so that I still have something to look forward to during the second half of my recovery! Problem is, I have very little self control, and my finger just automatically clicks next episode. Oops.
Totally off topic, two weeks from today, we will be out of the house that I grew up in. It is so bittersweet. After the last year, I do think my family is ready for a fresh start and it will be good for us. That being said, I grew up here. All my memories are in this house. I feel safe here. I know my neighbors. I love the little kids in the neighborhood. It is all I've ever known. Now, my room is in the front of the house on the first floor. That freaks me out. Sorry Mom and Dad. They are tired of hearing me say that. My brother's room has always been next to mine and we've shared a bathroom always. Now, he is on an entirely different level and opposite side of the house. It will just be a huge change. I'm anxious, but I think in a good way...or at least that is what I am trying to tell myself!
I apologize for the most boring post ever. I'll try to get my creative juices flowing during my boring day and maybe tomorrow I will have something good to share. If you take anything out of this post, just know that I feel great today and am hopeful that my worst of days are over!
I was wide awake at 7:30 this morning. I watched a little TV, played with my phone and got up out of bed by 8. I walked down the stairs all by myself and made myself a cup of tea! I really needed to take my medicine and had to eat something with it. I chose a cookie, which in itself is bizarre because as I have said before, I don't even like sweets. It was exactly what I wanted this morning though. So after I ate my cookie, made my tea, and watched an episode of Castle, it was still only 9. AHHHH! I am not seriously complaining, it is just the first time I can say I am honestly bored and not sure what to do with myself.
Mid-morning I had my mom drive me to Dunkin Donuts and we also stopped at Shop Rite to pick up a few things. Unfortunately, these things took a total of 40 minutes. I came home and watched three episodes of Long Island Medium.
Now, I have agreed to go to Sears later to look at a new fridge, washer and dryer for the new house. Kind of the same idea as the Lowe's trip the other day, I am desperate!
Not that you wanted every detail of my uneventful morning, but it just goes to show that I feel good today. Yesterday, I was not myself totally. I did venture out and take two walks, but I didn't feel good. There was a lot of pressure around my eyes and my incision felt very tight. I am still incredibly sensitive around the top, left side of my head. I am starting to think that it is becoming like my Chiari headaches in that I have learned to live with it. Today, I went to put my sunglasses on top of my head and QUICKLY was reminded I can't do that yet.
Like I said, today I feel good. I'm sore, but nothing that my beloved ice pack and pain medicine isn't relieving. I was trying to think earlier about what I would be doing if I wasn't contained...I decided I'd be doing exactly what I did this morning but without the boredom. I would have worked an entire week and would have wanted my Saturday morning to relax. So, I think I should appreciate the continued down time and try to enjoy it.
Maybe I will just continue to watch Homeland today. I am trying to slow down so that I still have something to look forward to during the second half of my recovery! Problem is, I have very little self control, and my finger just automatically clicks next episode. Oops.
Totally off topic, two weeks from today, we will be out of the house that I grew up in. It is so bittersweet. After the last year, I do think my family is ready for a fresh start and it will be good for us. That being said, I grew up here. All my memories are in this house. I feel safe here. I know my neighbors. I love the little kids in the neighborhood. It is all I've ever known. Now, my room is in the front of the house on the first floor. That freaks me out. Sorry Mom and Dad. They are tired of hearing me say that. My brother's room has always been next to mine and we've shared a bathroom always. Now, he is on an entirely different level and opposite side of the house. It will just be a huge change. I'm anxious, but I think in a good way...or at least that is what I am trying to tell myself!
I apologize for the most boring post ever. I'll try to get my creative juices flowing during my boring day and maybe tomorrow I will have something good to share. If you take anything out of this post, just know that I feel great today and am hopeful that my worst of days are over!
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Happy-ish Week
Well, it has been another few days since I've blogged but that is because I have been running three miles a day, shopping endlessly, driving long distances, and eating out daily.
JUST KIDDING.
I haven't done ALL of that. First of all, never in my life have I chose to run three miles a day. However, I have been able to sit up and walk around WAY more. I get my own ice packs now! Sounds so minor, but it is one less thing for Mama, Daddy and my brother to do every half hour.
I have shopped a few times. In the last couple days I have tried to go to the mall (only for about a half hour), Home Goods, Target, and Lowe's. Yes, Lowe's. The home improvement store. I am desperate to get out some days...it feels good to see other humans and different scenery.
I have not driven long distances. I actually can't drive at all. I can't even imagine driving. My neck does not have full mobility, but I can turn it more than last week. I also still get an occasional dizzy spell, which would probably not be good when driving. I have been driven by Mama and Dad, however long distances are not an option yet. I am hoping to make it down to LBI somewhat comfortably on Monday. As of now though, every bump and hole in the road causes serious pain. If I leave my head sitting upright without leaning on the back seat, every bump causes what feels like a mild whiplash. However, if I lean my head back onto the seat, my nerve pain is so bad that every bump feels like my head is on fire! I can't win in the car!
As far as eating out, I have only done so twice. It's difficult because I am still not very hungry. Advice to anyone that is attempting to lose weight...get brain surgery!!! Because of all the medicines I am on, I have very little appetite. Before my bath the other morning, my mom made me get on the scale. I have lost eleven pounds since my pre-op appointment. CRAZY! Maybe I should be trying on bathingsuits now...
Speaking of medicines, (this is gross and probably TMI, BUT...) I am extremely constipated. The nurses claim it is perfectly normal, however the pain that I felt this morning...IS. NOT. NORMAL. Without getting into too much detail, I felt as though I was in labor. My mom claims I have no idea what I am in for when real labor happens, but this pain was enough of a birth control for now. ;) This yuck paragraph is also probably an indicator as to why I don't have a boyfriend, but for my fellow Chiari people that are reading this, I want them to know that it is something I dealt with during recovery.
While I'm discussing issues I am having, I also want to say that I am supposed to clean my incision daily. At the hospital they gave me scrub brushes to do so. My mom is in charge of doing this, except the last few days the area around the scar has been so raw and sore that I have asked her not to touch it. Yesterday, we decided it was necessary to wash it after my bath. She attempted. It didn't go well. I was in tears. It was so sore and for the rest of the day I was very uncomfortable. I do still have the firey, neuropathy pain on the top, left side of my head. Again, nurses say it is normal. Okay, but ouch!
On a more upbeat note, I am feeling more like myself for the most part! I found myself singing in the car today, laughing with visitors, and talking school with one of my best friends yesterday. I feel more...normal. I was getting frustrated with myself earlier in the week and Mama just kept trying to remind me that I am not even half way through the expected recovery yet. So, I am trying to remain positive about the things I am able to do, such as getting my own ice pack! See, it really is a big deal!
Some other things I can do now ON MY OWN include: sit up for extended period of time, walk without support, get my own ice pack, fill up my water bottle, get up in the night and go to the bathroom by myself, walk up and down the stairs while holding something (along with the railing), and shave my legs. I also have been writing thank you notes and watching Homeland in a marathon way (if you don't watch it yet, DO IT!). This all brings SO much excitement for me and my family.
On a serious note, I had a distant cousin pass away this week unexpectedly. Earlier this year I had a good friend pass away from an illness. When these horrible tragedies happen, everyone can see how families and friends really come together to support one another and share memories of these special people. Texting, phone calls, Facebook, and visits help the grieving process. It is so unfortunate that my cousin and my good friend were not able to physically see and feel the positive thoughts, vivid memories, and kind gestures that came after they passed. Still, I have faith that they are both able to see and feel the love where they are now, up in heaven.
Not by any means am I comparing these deaths to my surgery. Nevertheless, I do feel I am very, VERY lucky to have the opportunity to see, feel and accept the positive thoughts, prayers, and kind gestures from my friends and family. I am seeing first hand how much support and love I have coming from directions I never would think of. Old friends, old neighbors, old coworkers, old bosses, distant family, new friends, new coworkers, family, blog readers, and even just aquaintances have extended an offering hand. Sitting here, I am tearing up thinking about how overjoyed I am, and how each text, facebook message, card, and visit has kept my positive outlook on this entire experience. For all of this, I thank you.
:)
JUST KIDDING.
I haven't done ALL of that. First of all, never in my life have I chose to run three miles a day. However, I have been able to sit up and walk around WAY more. I get my own ice packs now! Sounds so minor, but it is one less thing for Mama, Daddy and my brother to do every half hour.
I have shopped a few times. In the last couple days I have tried to go to the mall (only for about a half hour), Home Goods, Target, and Lowe's. Yes, Lowe's. The home improvement store. I am desperate to get out some days...it feels good to see other humans and different scenery.
I have not driven long distances. I actually can't drive at all. I can't even imagine driving. My neck does not have full mobility, but I can turn it more than last week. I also still get an occasional dizzy spell, which would probably not be good when driving. I have been driven by Mama and Dad, however long distances are not an option yet. I am hoping to make it down to LBI somewhat comfortably on Monday. As of now though, every bump and hole in the road causes serious pain. If I leave my head sitting upright without leaning on the back seat, every bump causes what feels like a mild whiplash. However, if I lean my head back onto the seat, my nerve pain is so bad that every bump feels like my head is on fire! I can't win in the car!
As far as eating out, I have only done so twice. It's difficult because I am still not very hungry. Advice to anyone that is attempting to lose weight...get brain surgery!!! Because of all the medicines I am on, I have very little appetite. Before my bath the other morning, my mom made me get on the scale. I have lost eleven pounds since my pre-op appointment. CRAZY! Maybe I should be trying on bathingsuits now...
Speaking of medicines, (this is gross and probably TMI, BUT...) I am extremely constipated. The nurses claim it is perfectly normal, however the pain that I felt this morning...IS. NOT. NORMAL. Without getting into too much detail, I felt as though I was in labor. My mom claims I have no idea what I am in for when real labor happens, but this pain was enough of a birth control for now. ;) This yuck paragraph is also probably an indicator as to why I don't have a boyfriend, but for my fellow Chiari people that are reading this, I want them to know that it is something I dealt with during recovery.
While I'm discussing issues I am having, I also want to say that I am supposed to clean my incision daily. At the hospital they gave me scrub brushes to do so. My mom is in charge of doing this, except the last few days the area around the scar has been so raw and sore that I have asked her not to touch it. Yesterday, we decided it was necessary to wash it after my bath. She attempted. It didn't go well. I was in tears. It was so sore and for the rest of the day I was very uncomfortable. I do still have the firey, neuropathy pain on the top, left side of my head. Again, nurses say it is normal. Okay, but ouch!
On a more upbeat note, I am feeling more like myself for the most part! I found myself singing in the car today, laughing with visitors, and talking school with one of my best friends yesterday. I feel more...normal. I was getting frustrated with myself earlier in the week and Mama just kept trying to remind me that I am not even half way through the expected recovery yet. So, I am trying to remain positive about the things I am able to do, such as getting my own ice pack! See, it really is a big deal!
Some other things I can do now ON MY OWN include: sit up for extended period of time, walk without support, get my own ice pack, fill up my water bottle, get up in the night and go to the bathroom by myself, walk up and down the stairs while holding something (along with the railing), and shave my legs. I also have been writing thank you notes and watching Homeland in a marathon way (if you don't watch it yet, DO IT!). This all brings SO much excitement for me and my family.
On a serious note, I had a distant cousin pass away this week unexpectedly. Earlier this year I had a good friend pass away from an illness. When these horrible tragedies happen, everyone can see how families and friends really come together to support one another and share memories of these special people. Texting, phone calls, Facebook, and visits help the grieving process. It is so unfortunate that my cousin and my good friend were not able to physically see and feel the positive thoughts, vivid memories, and kind gestures that came after they passed. Still, I have faith that they are both able to see and feel the love where they are now, up in heaven.
Not by any means am I comparing these deaths to my surgery. Nevertheless, I do feel I am very, VERY lucky to have the opportunity to see, feel and accept the positive thoughts, prayers, and kind gestures from my friends and family. I am seeing first hand how much support and love I have coming from directions I never would think of. Old friends, old neighbors, old coworkers, old bosses, distant family, new friends, new coworkers, family, blog readers, and even just aquaintances have extended an offering hand. Sitting here, I am tearing up thinking about how overjoyed I am, and how each text, facebook message, card, and visit has kept my positive outlook on this entire experience. For all of this, I thank you.
:)
Saturday, March 16, 2013
So Glad This Week is Over
Bad news...but since I am trying to be positive I will end with good news.
Bad news first. I had an AWFUL week. I woke up Tuesday morning in horrible pain. I have a firey feeling in the left side of my head. Nowhere near the incision and no where near my neck. It is on the top of my head. I can pinpoint where the pain starts and it radiates across the left side of my head. It hurts, bad. I mentioned in a previous post how water pressure in the shower hurts, when Mama is brushing my hair it hurts, and anytime I lay on my left side without an ice pack, I am in excruciating pain. I also have a rash below my incision that is incredibly itchy. I have also had pressure headaches above my eyes most of this week.
This may not sound all that bad, but I am telling you it has caused me to lay on the couch ALL day. I have only got out of bed to go to the bathroom. I have barely eaten anything due to nausea and lack of appetite and yesterday, woke up excessively nauseous and ended up throwing up mid-day.
I have been in contact with the doctor asking for any suggestions to relieve the pain and they have told me this is all normal and to continue to ice the pain and to take the low-grade pain medication. After I got sick yesterday, my mom called. When the nurses called back they explained vomitting is not normal and to take me to the ER for precautionary reasons. So, it took everything out of me, but I got myself off the couch, and went to the Emergency Room.
In the ER, I had to put on the dreaded hospital gown (opening in the back) and had to answer the same questions fifteen times. The nurses and doctor were all very nice and patient. They made me do a bunch of strength tests with my arms, which was funny because when I had to squeeze her fingers she said, "Squeeze the right hand too." I was, as much as I could. This happened before the surgery too and was a huge concern. I feel the strength is coming back in my right arm and hand, however a doctor that never saw me before and doesn't know much about this condition was concerned. We explained to her that this is normal for Chiari patients.
They also made me do a urine sample, took TONS of blood work (so much so that it filled 6 tubes plus 4 glass bottles), and sent me for a CT scan. They kept the needle that they took blood from i my arm in case I needed an IV, and it really, really hurt. She had to stick me twice. Apparently the vein the nurse chose was full of blood, and it actually squirted out of the needle and sent blood all over my arm, the floor, and all over the sheets on the bed. It was a mess.
Anyway, the tests all came back normal as per the surgery. They talked to my surgeon and decided to give me a medication for nausea as well as a medication for the pressure that my brain is causing. I have started both of these this morning, so we'll see!
Needless to say, the last 5 days have been no fun. I haven't caught up on any of the TV series I have wanted to because I can't focus on anything. I haven't read any books for the same reason. I haven't taken any of the walks I had planned to by the end of week 2, and I havent been able to bathe myself yet. All very, VERY frustrating.
Okay, good news. I can lay on my belly when I am sleeping now and able to turn my head to either side pretty comfortably. This is a huge step and hopefully means I will not need any physical therapy.
I did have the best of days on Monday. I ate all my meals at the table, had fun visitors, and even stayed up with a friend to watch the entire Bachelor finale!
Also, I did try to take a bath rather than shower and it does wonders. Stinks for Mama because I can not lay my head back, so she is stuck washing my hair...but great for me because I feel good during and when I get out.
Justin Timberlake has been on Jimmy Fallon all week and I have DVR'd it all week. It has been my comic relief and excitement this week.
Last, the Eagles have signed a few new good looking players and they moved their training camp to Philly. I love to go out in Philly ... Put two and two together, maybe I'll find a boyfriend once I'm all better. :)
Not a lot of good news, but at least it's something.
I am now hoping that the new medications will help me and that the worst of the pain is all over. Its frustrating having these set backs, but I am trying to remember that it's these challenges that will make me stronger in the end. It's funny how much I worried about the actual surgery, then the stay in the hospital, and now...the recovery as a whole. I was so worried about being bored during this time and now it is so much more than that. I wasn't thinking about pain or being uncomfortable. Now I realize, I really just need to take one day at a time. Prayers please! I still need lots of them...
Bad news first. I had an AWFUL week. I woke up Tuesday morning in horrible pain. I have a firey feeling in the left side of my head. Nowhere near the incision and no where near my neck. It is on the top of my head. I can pinpoint where the pain starts and it radiates across the left side of my head. It hurts, bad. I mentioned in a previous post how water pressure in the shower hurts, when Mama is brushing my hair it hurts, and anytime I lay on my left side without an ice pack, I am in excruciating pain. I also have a rash below my incision that is incredibly itchy. I have also had pressure headaches above my eyes most of this week.
This may not sound all that bad, but I am telling you it has caused me to lay on the couch ALL day. I have only got out of bed to go to the bathroom. I have barely eaten anything due to nausea and lack of appetite and yesterday, woke up excessively nauseous and ended up throwing up mid-day.
I have been in contact with the doctor asking for any suggestions to relieve the pain and they have told me this is all normal and to continue to ice the pain and to take the low-grade pain medication. After I got sick yesterday, my mom called. When the nurses called back they explained vomitting is not normal and to take me to the ER for precautionary reasons. So, it took everything out of me, but I got myself off the couch, and went to the Emergency Room.
In the ER, I had to put on the dreaded hospital gown (opening in the back) and had to answer the same questions fifteen times. The nurses and doctor were all very nice and patient. They made me do a bunch of strength tests with my arms, which was funny because when I had to squeeze her fingers she said, "Squeeze the right hand too." I was, as much as I could. This happened before the surgery too and was a huge concern. I feel the strength is coming back in my right arm and hand, however a doctor that never saw me before and doesn't know much about this condition was concerned. We explained to her that this is normal for Chiari patients.
They also made me do a urine sample, took TONS of blood work (so much so that it filled 6 tubes plus 4 glass bottles), and sent me for a CT scan. They kept the needle that they took blood from i my arm in case I needed an IV, and it really, really hurt. She had to stick me twice. Apparently the vein the nurse chose was full of blood, and it actually squirted out of the needle and sent blood all over my arm, the floor, and all over the sheets on the bed. It was a mess.
Anyway, the tests all came back normal as per the surgery. They talked to my surgeon and decided to give me a medication for nausea as well as a medication for the pressure that my brain is causing. I have started both of these this morning, so we'll see!
Needless to say, the last 5 days have been no fun. I haven't caught up on any of the TV series I have wanted to because I can't focus on anything. I haven't read any books for the same reason. I haven't taken any of the walks I had planned to by the end of week 2, and I havent been able to bathe myself yet. All very, VERY frustrating.
Okay, good news. I can lay on my belly when I am sleeping now and able to turn my head to either side pretty comfortably. This is a huge step and hopefully means I will not need any physical therapy.
I did have the best of days on Monday. I ate all my meals at the table, had fun visitors, and even stayed up with a friend to watch the entire Bachelor finale!
Also, I did try to take a bath rather than shower and it does wonders. Stinks for Mama because I can not lay my head back, so she is stuck washing my hair...but great for me because I feel good during and when I get out.
Justin Timberlake has been on Jimmy Fallon all week and I have DVR'd it all week. It has been my comic relief and excitement this week.
Last, the Eagles have signed a few new good looking players and they moved their training camp to Philly. I love to go out in Philly ... Put two and two together, maybe I'll find a boyfriend once I'm all better. :)
Not a lot of good news, but at least it's something.
I am now hoping that the new medications will help me and that the worst of the pain is all over. Its frustrating having these set backs, but I am trying to remember that it's these challenges that will make me stronger in the end. It's funny how much I worried about the actual surgery, then the stay in the hospital, and now...the recovery as a whole. I was so worried about being bored during this time and now it is so much more than that. I wasn't thinking about pain or being uncomfortable. Now I realize, I really just need to take one day at a time. Prayers please! I still need lots of them...
Monday, March 11, 2013
A Picture Blog...
Here are a bunch of pictures of surgery...Pre, Post, and Recovery!!! Also, some of my hospital visitors and my most practical gift. :)
I'm not sure how these will post, in order, small, large, or if you have to scroll. BUT!!! If you need to scroll, I'm warning you...Incision pictures are included. If you don't have to scroll and its too late... Oops.
I'm not sure how these will post, in order, small, large, or if you have to scroll. BUT!!! If you need to scroll, I'm warning you...Incision pictures are included. If you don't have to scroll and its too late... Oops.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Constant Roller Coaster
Best way to define the last week...constant roller coaster.
I have been up, down, feel like I'm upside down, up again, and then down. My days have been filled with visitors, nice cards, some gifts, and lots of chick flicks. I can honestly say I am not bored yet. It amazes me.
My up days seem to be my showerless days, as per usual. Just kidding. But seriously, the days that I have showered usually lead to me being down for the count. I don't know if it is because of the heat of the shower, the fact that I have to stand up for 7-10 minutes, or the different movements that are involved in a shower, but whatever it is ... it exhausts me. Yesterday, I showered early in the morning and did a great job in the actual shower. Once I was out, I was extremely shaky and uncomfortable. I laid down and tried to relax. I drank a lot of water, I put a cold wash cloth on my head along with my usual ice pack, and took my medicine. Still, I couldn't get rid of the shakes or the sick feeling.
Mid-afternoon I decided to get up and sit on porch. I am not one to miss a gorgeous day out especially when it is still technically winter. So Mama and I sat on the porch for a little while. Then, she talked me into taking a walk with her to the corner. Although there was not much pace to our walk, I successfully made it to the corner and back. It felt great. I then had some visitors come for about an hour and a half. After they left, I was wiped. I took a two hour nap, was up for about an hour and laid back down and fell asleep for the night. I try not to complain on my down days because, I mean really, what is the use?
However, I hate the feeling. I hate not feeling excited that visitors are there, or excited to open my gifts, or wanting to eat. The wanting to eat thing, has seriously never happened to me, ever. I love food. I crave pickles, nachos, french onion or broccoli cheddar soup, chips and dip, hoagies, grilled cheese, and goldfish on a daily basis. I haven't had a single one of these things since the surgery. Okay, that is not true. I had half a grilled cheese twice in the hospital and half a hoagie at lunch today and yesterday. But if you knew me, the fact that I left any grilled cheese or hoagie on my plate, it is unheard of. Today I had my half a hoagie without any chips on the side ... WHO DOES THAT? Seriously, this recovery is messing with my mind and body!
On my good days, I am my typical smiley, happy self. Luckily most of my visitors have been on my good days. I love having friends and family to talk to and catching up on events outside of ... well my house. I don't nap much anymore and on my good days I have been able to go to bed early and sleep well throughout the night! Today, I actually made it to my cousin's 4th birthday party for about an hour! I was so thrilled to get out of the house and see new scenary! I am hoping these good days keep coming around!
Sleep. Or lack there of. I think in reality, I slept for 65 of the 72 hours the first few days. However, I am now struggling to sleep through the night let alone nap throughout the day. I feel tired and exhausted, but have difficulty getting comfortable. I have learned that I am a stomach sleeper. As a zipperhead (the cool nickname given to us Chiari friends) laying flat on your back ... not an option. Also, laying on your stomach...not an option.
Side note. My aunts and cousins gave me the coolest beach chair ever yesterday! I can lay on my stomach and rest my head facing down into a hole. My arms go through the sides and I can read a book, play with my iPad, etc. It really is the most unique and practical gift I have received. So this is the exception to my "Zipperheads can't lay on their stomachs" theory.
Anyway, I sleep on my stomach. However, after the surgeon cut through four layers of neck muscles, I can not turn my neck anywhere near full rotation and therefore I wake myself NUMEROUS times throughout the night! UGH!
Okay, sorry if this was more of a complain-y post. Hopefully my next one will be full of positive words!
Here is to hoping for more great days ahead... :)
I have been up, down, feel like I'm upside down, up again, and then down. My days have been filled with visitors, nice cards, some gifts, and lots of chick flicks. I can honestly say I am not bored yet. It amazes me.
My up days seem to be my showerless days, as per usual. Just kidding. But seriously, the days that I have showered usually lead to me being down for the count. I don't know if it is because of the heat of the shower, the fact that I have to stand up for 7-10 minutes, or the different movements that are involved in a shower, but whatever it is ... it exhausts me. Yesterday, I showered early in the morning and did a great job in the actual shower. Once I was out, I was extremely shaky and uncomfortable. I laid down and tried to relax. I drank a lot of water, I put a cold wash cloth on my head along with my usual ice pack, and took my medicine. Still, I couldn't get rid of the shakes or the sick feeling.
Mid-afternoon I decided to get up and sit on porch. I am not one to miss a gorgeous day out especially when it is still technically winter. So Mama and I sat on the porch for a little while. Then, she talked me into taking a walk with her to the corner. Although there was not much pace to our walk, I successfully made it to the corner and back. It felt great. I then had some visitors come for about an hour and a half. After they left, I was wiped. I took a two hour nap, was up for about an hour and laid back down and fell asleep for the night. I try not to complain on my down days because, I mean really, what is the use?
However, I hate the feeling. I hate not feeling excited that visitors are there, or excited to open my gifts, or wanting to eat. The wanting to eat thing, has seriously never happened to me, ever. I love food. I crave pickles, nachos, french onion or broccoli cheddar soup, chips and dip, hoagies, grilled cheese, and goldfish on a daily basis. I haven't had a single one of these things since the surgery. Okay, that is not true. I had half a grilled cheese twice in the hospital and half a hoagie at lunch today and yesterday. But if you knew me, the fact that I left any grilled cheese or hoagie on my plate, it is unheard of. Today I had my half a hoagie without any chips on the side ... WHO DOES THAT? Seriously, this recovery is messing with my mind and body!
On my good days, I am my typical smiley, happy self. Luckily most of my visitors have been on my good days. I love having friends and family to talk to and catching up on events outside of ... well my house. I don't nap much anymore and on my good days I have been able to go to bed early and sleep well throughout the night! Today, I actually made it to my cousin's 4th birthday party for about an hour! I was so thrilled to get out of the house and see new scenary! I am hoping these good days keep coming around!
Sleep. Or lack there of. I think in reality, I slept for 65 of the 72 hours the first few days. However, I am now struggling to sleep through the night let alone nap throughout the day. I feel tired and exhausted, but have difficulty getting comfortable. I have learned that I am a stomach sleeper. As a zipperhead (the cool nickname given to us Chiari friends) laying flat on your back ... not an option. Also, laying on your stomach...not an option.
Side note. My aunts and cousins gave me the coolest beach chair ever yesterday! I can lay on my stomach and rest my head facing down into a hole. My arms go through the sides and I can read a book, play with my iPad, etc. It really is the most unique and practical gift I have received. So this is the exception to my "Zipperheads can't lay on their stomachs" theory.
Anyway, I sleep on my stomach. However, after the surgeon cut through four layers of neck muscles, I can not turn my neck anywhere near full rotation and therefore I wake myself NUMEROUS times throughout the night! UGH!
Okay, sorry if this was more of a complain-y post. Hopefully my next one will be full of positive words!
Here is to hoping for more great days ahead... :)
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Ouch
I was going to try to be creative with my blog title tonight, but I honestly can't.
I didn't blog yesterday and almost didn't tonight due to extreme amounts of pain. I HATE to complain, really I do. BUT, I have the worst pain right above my incision. It is sensitive to the touch. When I say sensitive, I mean like jump a mile anytime something comes near it. It burns and feels like small pinches. I have been getting very frustrated with myself today trying to find the right words to describe the pain. I find myself just saying, "I wish you could feel what it feels like, not because I want you to be in pain, but because then you would understand!" I've called the doctor and his nurses assure me it is just my brain readjusting to all the room that I now have for it. Great, but could it just adjust faster? This is no fun. At all.
Tonight I attempted to shower again. Many of you reading this don't know me well, but I HATE showering. Gross, I know. But honestly, I went days without showering in college. In the winter, showering dries out my skin and once your out it is still cold. And in the summer...that's what the ocean is for, right? And now, after brain surgery, my mom has to be in there with me to wash my hair (yes, I love her and it doesn't really bother me, but how long until its not appropriate anymore?) I have to hold a side of the shower the entire time I am in it. I can't have the water as hot as I would like because it makes me light headed. And now, the water pressure even hurts my head. Not in a headache type way, but in the same burning, pinching, type way above the incision. Ouch.
I have to send a shout out to my friend Jen who is in med school and is answering my constant "Should I be freaking out?!" texts. Not only does she answer my texts in a calm and positive manner, but she reminds me that I just had brain surgery and it is perfectly normal to feel pain and feel anxious. Thanks friend, you are really keeping me sane throughout the recovery thus far. You, and my glorious iPad.
Now that I can focus my eyes on technology (really still struggling to read books and magazines) I am loving Netflix on my iPad. I have watched one too many chick flicks in the last few days. I am hoping to start one of the TV series I've wanted to get into in the next few days. Truly, I have been in so much pain that I've needed senseless entertainment to keep me distracted.
Short, not so positive post tonight, but I can't wait to get an ice pack on top of my head and to focus my attention on (ugh reruns) of The Middle and Modern Family. Hopefully tomorrow's post will be ... well, more like me.
I didn't blog yesterday and almost didn't tonight due to extreme amounts of pain. I HATE to complain, really I do. BUT, I have the worst pain right above my incision. It is sensitive to the touch. When I say sensitive, I mean like jump a mile anytime something comes near it. It burns and feels like small pinches. I have been getting very frustrated with myself today trying to find the right words to describe the pain. I find myself just saying, "I wish you could feel what it feels like, not because I want you to be in pain, but because then you would understand!" I've called the doctor and his nurses assure me it is just my brain readjusting to all the room that I now have for it. Great, but could it just adjust faster? This is no fun. At all.
Tonight I attempted to shower again. Many of you reading this don't know me well, but I HATE showering. Gross, I know. But honestly, I went days without showering in college. In the winter, showering dries out my skin and once your out it is still cold. And in the summer...that's what the ocean is for, right? And now, after brain surgery, my mom has to be in there with me to wash my hair (yes, I love her and it doesn't really bother me, but how long until its not appropriate anymore?) I have to hold a side of the shower the entire time I am in it. I can't have the water as hot as I would like because it makes me light headed. And now, the water pressure even hurts my head. Not in a headache type way, but in the same burning, pinching, type way above the incision. Ouch.
I have to send a shout out to my friend Jen who is in med school and is answering my constant "Should I be freaking out?!" texts. Not only does she answer my texts in a calm and positive manner, but she reminds me that I just had brain surgery and it is perfectly normal to feel pain and feel anxious. Thanks friend, you are really keeping me sane throughout the recovery thus far. You, and my glorious iPad.
Now that I can focus my eyes on technology (really still struggling to read books and magazines) I am loving Netflix on my iPad. I have watched one too many chick flicks in the last few days. I am hoping to start one of the TV series I've wanted to get into in the next few days. Truly, I have been in so much pain that I've needed senseless entertainment to keep me distracted.
Short, not so positive post tonight, but I can't wait to get an ice pack on top of my head and to focus my attention on (ugh reruns) of The Middle and Modern Family. Hopefully tomorrow's post will be ... well, more like me.
Monday, March 4, 2013
I'm Baaack..ish
Hi!!! I have so much to write about, however I am not in a very comfortable position for writing and can't really find one, so if I cut it short I will try again later!
So here is the run-down. After a decent nights sleep, I woke just before my alarm at 4:00 am to get ready for the hospital. We left our house at 4:40 and we were at the hospital ready to "check in" at 5:30 on the dot. I was immediately taken into a prep room where I had to change into the dreaded hospital gown (opening in the back), pee into a cup to make sure I wasn't pregnant (again), and take my blood pressure for the first of 902385892345 times. After answering many of the same questions I did in my pre-op appointment, the nurse let my parents come back into the room with me. I was shockingly calm during all of this. I think I just thought, "Well I am here, may as well get some brain surgery!" Once my parents came in so did about 53025 doctors and nurses. Okay, exaggeration. But, really, at least 8 different doctors and nurses came in, explained their purpose during the surgery and answered any questions. Then, came the anestesia. This is one of my favorite stories of the experience. The doctor's name was Alex. He came in and told me he would put the anestesia through my IV and would walk me down to the OR. He told me it would only take a few minutes to knock me out. Here was the last few minutes of what I remember.
Dr. Alex: "Amy, I am going to put this into your IV now."
Me (slightly teary eyed and giving hugs): "Okay... bye Mom, bye Dad"
Dr. Alex (wheeling the bed out of the prep room towards OR) "So you're a teacher?"
Me: "Yeah"
Dr. Alex: "What grade do you teach?"
Me: "First"
Dr. Alex: "Your kids sure are going to miss you huh?"
Me: "Yeah! Let me tell you a story about that!"
Dr. Alex (waits a minute and opens the OR door)"Okay, whats the story?"
Me: "I don't know what you are talking about."
That's it. I don't remember another thing until I woke up in the OR. I never felt the cathatar go in, never felt the breathing tube, didn't feel being flipped onto my belly, etc. All I have to say to that is THANK GOODNESS for these doctors!
Anyway, I woke up and remember the doctors talking to one another saying "She's waking up, call ICU, take off that monitor, unstrap her leg." It was one long set of orders and to me, it sounded like they were all yelling and rushing. Turns out they weren't. Apparently there was a nurse that called my parents in the waiting room every 45 minutes to update them on the surgery and tell them how I was doing. Right after the procedure was done, the surgeon called them to tell them exactly how it went. He told them that he was surprised by how tight it was between my brain and skull. If I had waited any longer, my symptoms would have rapidly gotten worse. Again, THANK GOODNESS for these doctors.
I was put into Neuro ICU and stayed there for the remainder of my stay. I had the nicest nurses and my doctor, his residents, his PA, and his partner all came in to check on me periodically. Everything was as expected and I was recovering just as they hoped I would.
My cathater was removed around dinner time on Thursday night, and I was relieved! However, they wouldn't let me get out of bed until the next day. I was confused...was I just supposed to hold it? I found myself dancing in the bed, and finally asked the nurse how in the world I am supposed to go to the bathroom for the next 15 hours? She, with a smile, said "BED PAN!" I had no idea what this meant. Next thing I know, I am sitting on a toilet-like thing in the middle of my bed. I wanted to say, "uh, can I have the cathater back?" The bed pan skeeved me out. The first time I could barely go and the second time I told the nurse I was worried it was over flowing. Needless to say, I drank very little the rest of the night and held it until the morning. I know this may be TMI for many of you, but it was a very detrimental part of my hospital experience.
My first night in the ICU I got a great surprise! I was in a lot of pain and it was about a half hour before I could get my pain medicine again. I was resting my eyes, when I heard my mom say "Oh! Look who is here!" I turned my head, expecting to see my brother, and it was my cousin Jake who is a marine. He has been over seas for many months and I didn't even know he was back in the states. I started to immediately bawl my eyes out with the happiest tears...but at the same time my heart rate jumped to 175 and three nurses bolted into my room. They made me take many deep breaths and wouldn't let me talk more until I got my heartrate back to normal. I was just so excited. Jake drove 4 hours up from Virginia and had to drive 4 hours back down to catch a flight at 7 the next morning. He truly would do anything for his family. I'm so lucky to have him as a cousin, however stinks for all the other potential guys out there, you have a lot to live up to!
I may have said this in a previous post, but this hospital was like a hotel. It had glass windows and sliding glass doors. My hospital room was the size of my bedroom at home with a flat screen 42'' TV. I had room service with delicious food and someone giving me ice on call. Minus the constant beeping of the heart monitor, the pulse monitor on my finger, my blood pressure being taken every 10 minutes, and the circulation boots squeezing my legs, I felt like I was at a resort!
I had my giraffe blanket on me the entire time I was in the ICU. Jake brought me a giraffe stuffed animal. I got two cards with giraffes on them. The nurses and doctors noticed and commented on them all many times. It was just something that made me smile! :)
I was able to come home on Saturday, just two days after the surgery! I was "okayed" by PT to be released. After my 5 minutes with PT and then the wheelchair ride down to the car, I was EXHAUSTED. I came home and slept for 4 hours straight. When I woke up, I couldn't wait to shower. Unfortunately, I can not do this by myself quite yet. I mostly stood there and let my mom wash my hair. Luckily, my scar is still very numb as is most of my neck so it didn't really feel like anything while it was being washed. This morning, I decided I wanted to shower again. My mom was sitting in the bathroom with me as I attempted to wash my hair. Suddenly I was seeing spots and the room was spinning. I ended up sitting on the tub floor and again, mom had to wash me. I felt useless, but luckily I am not weird about naked...again maybe TMI, but this is what my days are like right now.
As far as pain, I have a lot of it. My neck is very, VERY sore. The incision feels like its on fire. Apparently, this is all normal. I am just very thankful for medicines right now. I have been very, VERY tired. I sleep most of the day, which hopefully will help the healing process. I wasn't able to look at my phone, iPad, or read a book for the last few days because it is very difficult to focus my eyes. (If there are parts of this post that don't make sense or spelling errors, I am blaming it on my lack of focus! Sorry!)
I have to again thank everyone for my cards, flowers, balloons, magazines, books, candies, giraffes, calls, texts, fbook posts and messages, iTunes gift cards, movies, visits and all the other odds and ends. I could not be more thankful for the support and positive thoughts I have received from everyone. I know I said it before, but I am one lucky girl.
So now, here I am watching my third episode of Friends, using NetFlix to see new movies, catching up on How I Met Your Mother, and answering my hundreds of texts I got over the last four days. This will probably be fun again tomorrow, however come Wednesday I have a feeling I will be getting antsy. I need to remember that recovering takes time and I have to be patient. While I am still in pain it is pretty easy to remember, but from what I have read I will be feeling pretty good in the next two weeks. That is when I need to remember to take it easy. That being said, please continue the prayers for a SPEEDY recovery. I can't wait to feel all the benefits from the surgery and experience a pain free life ahead! YAY! :)
I will post pictures later on of the (very minimal) shaved head and looong scar I have!
So here is the run-down. After a decent nights sleep, I woke just before my alarm at 4:00 am to get ready for the hospital. We left our house at 4:40 and we were at the hospital ready to "check in" at 5:30 on the dot. I was immediately taken into a prep room where I had to change into the dreaded hospital gown (opening in the back), pee into a cup to make sure I wasn't pregnant (again), and take my blood pressure for the first of 902385892345 times. After answering many of the same questions I did in my pre-op appointment, the nurse let my parents come back into the room with me. I was shockingly calm during all of this. I think I just thought, "Well I am here, may as well get some brain surgery!" Once my parents came in so did about 53025 doctors and nurses. Okay, exaggeration. But, really, at least 8 different doctors and nurses came in, explained their purpose during the surgery and answered any questions. Then, came the anestesia. This is one of my favorite stories of the experience. The doctor's name was Alex. He came in and told me he would put the anestesia through my IV and would walk me down to the OR. He told me it would only take a few minutes to knock me out. Here was the last few minutes of what I remember.
Dr. Alex: "Amy, I am going to put this into your IV now."
Me (slightly teary eyed and giving hugs): "Okay... bye Mom, bye Dad"
Dr. Alex (wheeling the bed out of the prep room towards OR) "So you're a teacher?"
Me: "Yeah"
Dr. Alex: "What grade do you teach?"
Me: "First"
Dr. Alex: "Your kids sure are going to miss you huh?"
Me: "Yeah! Let me tell you a story about that!"
Dr. Alex (waits a minute and opens the OR door)"Okay, whats the story?"
Me: "I don't know what you are talking about."
That's it. I don't remember another thing until I woke up in the OR. I never felt the cathatar go in, never felt the breathing tube, didn't feel being flipped onto my belly, etc. All I have to say to that is THANK GOODNESS for these doctors!
Anyway, I woke up and remember the doctors talking to one another saying "She's waking up, call ICU, take off that monitor, unstrap her leg." It was one long set of orders and to me, it sounded like they were all yelling and rushing. Turns out they weren't. Apparently there was a nurse that called my parents in the waiting room every 45 minutes to update them on the surgery and tell them how I was doing. Right after the procedure was done, the surgeon called them to tell them exactly how it went. He told them that he was surprised by how tight it was between my brain and skull. If I had waited any longer, my symptoms would have rapidly gotten worse. Again, THANK GOODNESS for these doctors.
I was put into Neuro ICU and stayed there for the remainder of my stay. I had the nicest nurses and my doctor, his residents, his PA, and his partner all came in to check on me periodically. Everything was as expected and I was recovering just as they hoped I would.
My cathater was removed around dinner time on Thursday night, and I was relieved! However, they wouldn't let me get out of bed until the next day. I was confused...was I just supposed to hold it? I found myself dancing in the bed, and finally asked the nurse how in the world I am supposed to go to the bathroom for the next 15 hours? She, with a smile, said "BED PAN!" I had no idea what this meant. Next thing I know, I am sitting on a toilet-like thing in the middle of my bed. I wanted to say, "uh, can I have the cathater back?" The bed pan skeeved me out. The first time I could barely go and the second time I told the nurse I was worried it was over flowing. Needless to say, I drank very little the rest of the night and held it until the morning. I know this may be TMI for many of you, but it was a very detrimental part of my hospital experience.
My first night in the ICU I got a great surprise! I was in a lot of pain and it was about a half hour before I could get my pain medicine again. I was resting my eyes, when I heard my mom say "Oh! Look who is here!" I turned my head, expecting to see my brother, and it was my cousin Jake who is a marine. He has been over seas for many months and I didn't even know he was back in the states. I started to immediately bawl my eyes out with the happiest tears...but at the same time my heart rate jumped to 175 and three nurses bolted into my room. They made me take many deep breaths and wouldn't let me talk more until I got my heartrate back to normal. I was just so excited. Jake drove 4 hours up from Virginia and had to drive 4 hours back down to catch a flight at 7 the next morning. He truly would do anything for his family. I'm so lucky to have him as a cousin, however stinks for all the other potential guys out there, you have a lot to live up to!
I may have said this in a previous post, but this hospital was like a hotel. It had glass windows and sliding glass doors. My hospital room was the size of my bedroom at home with a flat screen 42'' TV. I had room service with delicious food and someone giving me ice on call. Minus the constant beeping of the heart monitor, the pulse monitor on my finger, my blood pressure being taken every 10 minutes, and the circulation boots squeezing my legs, I felt like I was at a resort!
I had my giraffe blanket on me the entire time I was in the ICU. Jake brought me a giraffe stuffed animal. I got two cards with giraffes on them. The nurses and doctors noticed and commented on them all many times. It was just something that made me smile! :)
I was able to come home on Saturday, just two days after the surgery! I was "okayed" by PT to be released. After my 5 minutes with PT and then the wheelchair ride down to the car, I was EXHAUSTED. I came home and slept for 4 hours straight. When I woke up, I couldn't wait to shower. Unfortunately, I can not do this by myself quite yet. I mostly stood there and let my mom wash my hair. Luckily, my scar is still very numb as is most of my neck so it didn't really feel like anything while it was being washed. This morning, I decided I wanted to shower again. My mom was sitting in the bathroom with me as I attempted to wash my hair. Suddenly I was seeing spots and the room was spinning. I ended up sitting on the tub floor and again, mom had to wash me. I felt useless, but luckily I am not weird about naked...again maybe TMI, but this is what my days are like right now.
As far as pain, I have a lot of it. My neck is very, VERY sore. The incision feels like its on fire. Apparently, this is all normal. I am just very thankful for medicines right now. I have been very, VERY tired. I sleep most of the day, which hopefully will help the healing process. I wasn't able to look at my phone, iPad, or read a book for the last few days because it is very difficult to focus my eyes. (If there are parts of this post that don't make sense or spelling errors, I am blaming it on my lack of focus! Sorry!)
I have to again thank everyone for my cards, flowers, balloons, magazines, books, candies, giraffes, calls, texts, fbook posts and messages, iTunes gift cards, movies, visits and all the other odds and ends. I could not be more thankful for the support and positive thoughts I have received from everyone. I know I said it before, but I am one lucky girl.
So now, here I am watching my third episode of Friends, using NetFlix to see new movies, catching up on How I Met Your Mother, and answering my hundreds of texts I got over the last four days. This will probably be fun again tomorrow, however come Wednesday I have a feeling I will be getting antsy. I need to remember that recovering takes time and I have to be patient. While I am still in pain it is pretty easy to remember, but from what I have read I will be feeling pretty good in the next two weeks. That is when I need to remember to take it easy. That being said, please continue the prayers for a SPEEDY recovery. I can't wait to feel all the benefits from the surgery and experience a pain free life ahead! YAY! :)
I will post pictures later on of the (very minimal) shaved head and looong scar I have!
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