Happy-ish Things

I have not written in the past few days.  To be honest, I have been an emotional wreck.  I am crying.  A LOT...and I thought that those tears would go against my "woo hoo I am positive forever" theme I was going for.  But hey, this is my blog and I'll cry if I want to.  (You know, like the song?) 

I cry when I think about the surgery.  I cry when someone brings up the surgery.  I cry when I want to talk about the surgery.  I cry when I don't want to talk about the surgery. 

I cry when I get a nice card in the mail.  I cry when I get gifts from friends or family, or today from my students.  I cry when I am watching Long Island Medium.  I cry when I drop my phone.  I cry when I shower.  I cry when I can't get my straightner on the first time I press the button.  I cry when I am laying in bed and the remote falls to the floor.

I. Cry. Over. Everything. 
I keep joking I am like the ultimate hormonal pregnant woman that isn't getting a fun baby to play with afterwards. 

Today, I knew there would be tears.  It was my last day with my kiddos before the surgery.  Boy, oh boy did they spoil me.  I got three bouquets of flowers, an iTunes gift card, a book of Bible verses, magazines, a REALLY soft blanket, a nice pair of PJ's, giraffe bookmarks, two big stuffed animal bears and a stuffed giraffe, lots of candy, gum and mints, soft lotions, nail polishes, hair clips, dry shampoo, a pair of socks...and I truly think I am forgetting things.  These parents really out did themselves.  I also recieved a Dunkin Donuts gift card from another grade level, which was such a wonderful surprise.  I couldn't have asked for more support and well wishes from my school family.  I owe you all a very sincere thank you! :)

My week didn't really go as planned, however it kind of worked out.  I had really bad headaches this week with serious tingly lips and face weakness.  I truly believe these symptoms are God's way of  answering me when I am constantly asking if I am doing the right thing.  This is His way of telling me "Hell yeah girl, you are so making the right choice with this surgery!"  I just want to say, "God, you gave me no choice (and did you just say hell?)" 

I now have a six day countdown.  AH!  This weekend (plus Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday) I am going to dinner at my cousins, shopping for a few cards and gifts (I have to be prepared through May, just in case!), shopping for a few new off the shoulder sweatshirts and shirts that will lay comfortably around my scar, going to AC with college friends, visiting a few old friends, going to lunch with my aunts (they just don't know it yet), maybe taking a NYC trip, heading to LBI for a day, and will be making up ANYTHING else to keep me busy! 

I know I keep saying it, but I am so amazed by the number of people that have contacted me with positive thoughts and words.  I am so lucky to have, in my opinion, the best support system.  Thank you to each and every one of you that are, have been and will be here for me throughout this experience.  <3