"Turned a Corner"

I chose this title for the blog because I have heard my mom say it about 344,593,432 times in the last three days.  She thinks I have turned a corner in the recovery which is a great thing!  In a sense, I agree with her.  Sorry it took me so many days to get back on here, I just felt like I didn't have much to tell.  I have had a lot of complainers telling me (or mom or dad) that I am slacking...I apologize!  Here you go, the details on my last few days...

Sunday I had tons of visitors from out of town, old neighbors, and cousins.  It kept me busy all day and afterward, wore me out.  I was in bed very early, but that could be in part due to the fact that I take Tylenol PM now at night instead of my pain medicine. 

Monday was the grossest day.  Many of you don't know me, but I have self diagnosed myself with a horrible condition...Seasonal Depression.  It doesn't matter if it is spring, winter, fall or summer, I HATE gray skies, rain or any kind of percipitation.  So, needless to say Monday, I was miserable.  I keep joking that my mom and I didn't talk that day.  I sat in my "recovery oasis" as I like to call it, and she continued to pack the house.  It was NOT my favorite day.  Also, I had a lot of pain around my incision.  It is still there.  It is around the bottom of it and it is a numbing, yet incredibly painful sensation at all times.  Everyone that has seen it says that it is a little swollen around  this spot and very red.  However, we did have a friend that is a nurse come over this past weekend and she said it looked great, so we aren't worrying.  Monday did have an upside...The Voice started again!  That makes dad and I VERY happy. 

Speaking of The Voice, how do these singers choose which coach they want.  I wouldn't even begin to know how to choose.  Blake Shelton, my favorite country man.  He would be my ticket to meet every country singer I ever wanted and maybe help find me a cowboy boyfriend.  Usher, he would teach me to dance and maybe introduce me to Biebs?  Shakira, I mean come on guys, her Hips Don't Lie AND she's funny.  Adam, HOTT...with two T's.  Nothing else needs to be said about him.  I have expressed this concern to my family the past two nights.  Seriously, WHO WOULD I CHOOSE!?  My family came to the conclusion...Thank goodness I will never have this dilemma! (Unless this brain surgery somehow improved my vocal cords and rhythm?...wishful thinking!)

Tuesday was also not a great day.  I NEEDED to get out of the house.  Now that I am feeling mobile and I am functioning more, I am starting to go stir crazy.  I talked my mom into going grocery shopping, despite the horrible headache I had over my right eye.  I had woken up from the pain in the night and took more Tylenol.  When I woke up, the pain was still there.  I managed to get through the grocery store, but was ready to get home.  I took more Tylenol and my pain medication.  I had very little relief and really didn't do much more during the day.  My 4-year-old and 2-year-old cousin came over, along with my aunt and grandparents, which made for a nice afternoon.  I also had a friend come over to watch The Voice and a movie with me.  I can't say enough how much having visitors helps my mood.  Even when I am feeling down and not well, visitors have a way of distracting me and making me feel better.

Today was a good day.  I got up and took a 20 minute walk with my mom.  I couldn't remember if I had taken my pain medicine when I woke up so I decided I would wait it out and see if I felt any different.  Mornings are my hardest time.  I always feel pain in my neck and shoulders when I first wake up.  I have been trying to eliminate the pain medicine.  I have got myself down to only taking two a day and Tylenol PM at night.  Hopefully by the end of the week, I will only need it in the morning, and by the end of next week, not at all.  Long story short, (haha I know none of my "stories" are short) but I didn't take the medicine and did need it mid-morning.  I was able to go out to lunch with my mom and her friends and we went for an hour long trip to Kohl's.  At the end of my Kohl's trip, I had a very sharp pain traveling right above my incision in the middle of my head.  It was very painful and I couldn't wait to get home to get ice on it.  I laid around for the rest of the afternoon, but I am still feeling pretty good. 

I agree with my mom, I do think I have turned a corner.  I go to the doctor on Friday morning and am very anxious to do so.  I have so many questions for him.  What the heck is this graft that is hiding the hole you cut into my skull?  Why do I have this nerve pain that won't go away?  Are these sharp shooting pains normal?  When can I drive?  What should I expect for the last few weeks of my recovery?  Do you have any cute nurses or doctors that work here?

I am thinking the worst of my days are over, however I hope that I don't have to live with this new nerve pain forever.  I am going to be optimistic and think its just part of the long recovery. 

Everyone that I've talked to in the last few weeks already knows my newest fears.  When am I going to go back to school?  How will I feel when I go back?  How will I know I am ready to go back? Teaching isn't like a desk job.  I can't go back for a half day.  I can't just leave if I am not feeling well.  I can't just sit at my desk to rest.  Teaching means I am focused, functioning, and "on" all day.  I'm afraid I am going to think I am ready, excitedly head back, and not be the best I can be.  I also don't want it to seem like I am "milking" my recovery.  I know by walking, getting out and doing some things, and sitting up as much as possible will be the only way I know I will have enough endurance  for a full eight hour work day.  I just need to stay focused on getting better and working on me, I know this.  But, just like a lot of other things in life, it is easier said than done, especially without being anxious. 

As I said earlier, I will be going to the doctor on Friday morning.  I will hopefully have a great update on Friday afternoon!  Now it is time to go watch (finally new episodes!!) of The Middle and Modern Family!  Prayers for a great doctor's appointment Friday!