Doctor Update-and some other things

I want to start by saying...I LOVE my doctor.  He talks to me like I am the farthest thing from a doctor, which I am.  He listens and encourages questions.  He is awesome.

First of all, my appointment was at 10am in Philly.  I was back in the car by 10:24.  I didn't feel rushed at all and felt like I got everything that I wanted out of the appointment. 

Dr. Vez first looked at my incision.  He said it looked good, but he told us that I need to scrub it to get all of the glue off of the scar.  The glue varies in color from grey, to red, to brown.  It is gross.  He started to pick at it and I know I was flinching.  I HATE when my scar is touched.  I describe the feeling as numb, except I do feel a pain each time their is pressure against it.  That being said, the idea that my mom needs to continue to scrub the glue off, freaks me out.  I've mentioned in previous posts that I cringe everytime she cleans it, now she isn't just cleaning, she's cleaning with a mission.  As if I didn't hate showering already, now I am required to scrub while showering.  That is a double whammy in my book.  My stomach is literally turning while I sit here thinking about it.  The alternative to not scrubbing the scar clean, is an infection.  This was Dr. Vez's main concern during my appointment.  Everything else, he was very non-chalant about (in a good way).

After he stopped picking at my scar he answered Mom and Dad's main question...What exactly happened during the surgery?  He told us in simple words that he cut through the neck muscles, shaved a piece of my skull and removed my C1, cut through the dura, cauterized my cerebral tonsils, patched up the hole up with bovine (cow) heart, and stitched me back up.  Ew.  I have a cow heart in my skull now.  He said many surgeons use a synthetic patch instead, but he found that they leak which obviously causes many complications.  I am thinking that this will be my fun fact that I use any time I need an ice breaker.  Hi, I am Amy Burns and I have a cow heart that covers a hole in my skull caused by brain surgery.  Who wouldn't want to be my friend?

Then, I got to ask my questions.  HOW MUCH LONGER WILL THESE HEADACHES AND NERVE PAIN CONTINUE?  His answer ... "Eh, it varies."  However, he did persuade me to believe that it is expected and that it will relieve itself as I get further into the recovery.  He explained that I should ease into my normal routine, but reminded me that if I don't take it slow, I will slow down the overall process.  To sum it up, he told me the recovery is now on my terms. 

Since about two weeks after the surgery, I had two little "fishing lines" hanging from the bottom of my incision.  Everyone had a speculation about what they may be.  Stitches from the muscles, that would eventually be pulled.  The end of the stitches, which became loose.  Annoying, unneeded strings that got caught in pillow cases, blankets, ice packs, jackets, shirts, etc.  Guess which speculation was mine!?  When I mentioned these to the doctor he told me they will fall off eventually, that they are related to the glue.  I guess I looked at him with my best "feel sorry for me" face and asked if it was possible to snip them.  He answered with "Of course!" and got up to do so. 

Just a funny side note - Dr. Vez is considering opening an office in Philadelphia, so my appointment was in a room he is renting from an orthopedic office.  Needless to say, he is not very familiar with these rooms and had trouble finding something to clip the strings with.  It was funny to see a doctor going through cabinets to find things...

Anyway, my irritating "fishing line" strings are gone!  My cerebral tonsils are shrunk!  My doctor thinks I am on my way to a successful recovery!

Other good things about the past few days:

1) I went to visit my kiddos at school yesterday. It was so exciting to see them! They seemed so happy to see me too, consistantly asking me if I was back, when I would be back, and how many more days until I am back. It made me feel so special. I should probably bite my tongue, but I really can't wait to get back. :)

2) I went to my 1 year-old cousin's birthday party today after the doctors. I got my fix of little kids and enjoyed spending time with family.

3) The Phillies are back in town!!!

4) The Penguins have won 14 games in a row and have signed two captains from other teams this week. Big things!

5) I continue to receive cards on a daily basis. I have seriously only had ONE day when I did not get at least one card. I LOVE mail!!! 

Overall, it was a pretty good week. 

All that good stuff being said, I have had some serious pressure headaches behind my eyes the past three days.  Enough so that I was up much of the night last night.  Dr. Vez says it is because I am up and doing much more than I have since the brain has had all this room.  I hope it gets used to it soon because I really have been in (a new kind of) pain the past few days.  My nerve pain has also changed location.  It was on the top left side of my head, and now it has begun to shift towards the incison and lower, towards my neck.  Now I am going to just have to get used to new comfortable laying, sitting, and car ride positions.  I also have had a slight tingling sensation on the left side of my face today.  Hopefully that is not here to stay.

We move in 6 days and I am getting very anxious.  We cleaned my room on Thursday and went through a lot of things.  There are many memories in this house.  It is all I know.  With things being so tough with my sister over the last three years, I know it is time for a new start.  However, I wish she was here, ready to make a new start with us.   I miss her.  A lot.  Every day that goes by I feel more of a distance between us, and now with this move, I do feel like I'm getting even further from her.  Please keep her in your prayers also. 

I am still surprised daily by friends who reach out to me or surprise visit me.  I know I say it a lot (probably too much) but I can't thank those of you who have been here for me throughout this experience enough.  There are no words.  I know I still have a good amount of time left for recovery, but I can't imagine getting through what I hope was the hardest part, without all your kind words, cards, presents, visits, and most importantly, prayers. 

This week has had its list of ups and downs...actually as I am thinking more about it, this year has had its list of ups and downs. I read something Mommom told my mom this week.  Let go, Let God.  Between my mom's breast cancer, my sister's drug addiction, my grandmother's death, my friend and cousins unexpected deaths, the unknown with my job year to year, the move, and most recently my brain surgery and recovery, I have become a prayer addict.  Without my faith and strength, my positivity could have been lost in the whirlwind of a year that my family and I have survived.  I believe it is because of Him that I am here today, still with a smile on my face and still with hope that everything will fall into place eventually.  :)

 "In the center of a hurricane there is absolute peace and quiet. There is no safer place than in the center of the will of God"  - Corrie ten Boom