Constant Roller Coaster

Best way to define the last week...constant roller coaster.

I have been up, down, feel like I'm upside down, up again, and then down.  My days have been filled with visitors, nice cards, some gifts, and lots of chick flicks.  I can honestly say I am not bored yet.  It amazes me. 

My up days seem to be my showerless days, as per usual.  Just kidding.  But seriously, the days that I have showered usually lead to me being down for the count.  I don't know if it is because of the heat of the shower, the fact that I have to stand up for 7-10 minutes, or the different movements that are involved in a shower, but whatever it is ... it exhausts me.  Yesterday, I showered early in the morning and did a great job in the actual shower.  Once I was out, I was extremely shaky and uncomfortable.  I laid down and tried to relax.  I drank a lot of water, I put a cold wash cloth on my head along with my usual ice pack, and took my medicine.  Still, I couldn't get rid of the shakes or the sick feeling. 

Mid-afternoon I decided to get up and sit on porch.  I am not one to miss a gorgeous day out especially when it is still technically winter.  So Mama and I sat on the porch for a little while.  Then, she talked me into taking a walk with her to the corner.  Although there was not much pace to our walk, I successfully made it to the corner and back.  It felt great.  I then had some visitors come for about an hour and a half.  After they left, I was wiped.  I took a two hour nap, was up for about an hour and laid back down and fell asleep for the night.  I try not to complain on my down days because, I mean really, what is the use? 

However, I hate the feeling.  I hate not feeling excited that visitors are there, or excited to open my gifts, or wanting to eat.  The wanting to eat thing, has seriously never happened to me, ever.  I love food.  I crave pickles, nachos, french onion or broccoli cheddar soup, chips and dip, hoagies, grilled cheese, and goldfish on a daily basis.  I haven't had a single one of these things since the surgery.  Okay, that is not true.  I had half a grilled cheese twice in the hospital and half a hoagie at lunch today and yesterday.  But if you knew me, the fact that I left any grilled cheese or hoagie on my plate, it is unheard of.  Today I had my half a hoagie without any chips on the side ... WHO DOES THAT?  Seriously, this recovery is messing with my mind and body!

On my good days, I am my typical smiley, happy self.  Luckily most of my visitors have been on my good days.  I love having friends  and family to talk to and catching up on events outside of ... well my house.  I don't nap much anymore and on my good days I have been able to go to bed early and sleep well throughout the night!  Today, I actually made it to my cousin's 4th birthday party for about an hour!  I was so thrilled to get out of the house and see new scenary! I am hoping these good days keep coming around!

Sleep.  Or lack there of.  I think in reality, I slept for 65 of the 72 hours the first few days.  However, I am now struggling to sleep through the night let alone nap throughout the day.  I feel tired and exhausted, but have difficulty getting comfortable.  I have learned that I am a stomach sleeper.  As a zipperhead (the cool nickname given to us Chiari friends) laying flat on your back ... not an option.  Also, laying on your stomach...not an option. 

Side note.  My aunts and cousins gave me the coolest beach chair ever yesterday!  I can lay on my stomach and rest my head facing down into a hole.  My arms go through the sides and I can read a book, play with my iPad, etc.  It really is the most unique and practical gift I have received.  So this is the exception to my "Zipperheads can't lay on their stomachs" theory. 

Anyway, I sleep on my stomach.  However, after the surgeon cut through four layers of neck muscles, I can not turn my neck anywhere near full rotation and therefore I wake myself NUMEROUS times throughout the night!  UGH! 

Okay, sorry if this was more of a complain-y post.  Hopefully my next one will be full of positive words! 

Here is to hoping for more great days ahead... :)